


burn bright

by inexhaustible



Series: light it up [1]
Category: DAYS (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bullying, Getting Together, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexhaustible/pseuds/inexhaustible
Summary: To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶> [18:37] take it easy! you might be concussedFrom: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶> [18:40] It's okay! I'll be at practice tomorrow and continue to try my best!!To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶> [18:41] thats not what i meant omg– or, the one where the bullying doesn't stop just because Tsukushi's joined the soccer team.





	

**Author's Note:**

> find me screaming my heart out about days on tumblr @tsukujin
> 
> warning for bullying, some violence, and some explicit homophobic/sexual language! there's one instance of the f slur so tread lightly if that's sensitive for you. overall i'm not completely satisfied with this though, bc it's very disjointed and very short, but i'm reaching that point where i kinda just wanted to get this out there.
> 
> aaand this might be the first part of a series, who knows. we'll see (": as always, comments and kudos are deeply appreciated! thanks everyone!

“He looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the sky,” Haibara says, snorting, and Jin tries to ignore the way he feels himself flush red. On the bench, Tsukushi is waving his arms, cheering on Seiseki with his usual fervor, screaming himself hoarse. Jin catches his eye, lets his lips quirk up, and relishes in the way Tsukushi’s smile grows even wider, how he launches himself back into shouting with renewed vigor.

“Then again,” Haibara mumbles beside him, “maybe this street runs both ways.”

Jin resolutely pretends he hasn’t heard him, though a flush of warmth rushes through him, slow and sweet. 

 

* * *

 

When he sees Tsukushi fall to the ground, something twists and drops sharply in his chest, landing hard in the pit of his stomach. Jin glances at the opposing team, anger sparking cold throughout his body – _that fucker kicked Tsukushi on purpose,_ he thinks, clenching his fists. Tsukushi's on the ground, unmoving, and fear blossoms in his chest: before he knows it, he's running. 

"Tsukamoto," he yells, gritting his teeth. "Tsukushi!"

Tsukushi's still facedown, and Jin hears someone yell for a stretcher. _Tsukushi_... Jin watches with a flicker of unease as Mizuki lifts Tsukushi in his arms, stares at his limp figure, the way his head lolls back like a ragdoll. 

Jin tries to rein in his emotions, tries to control his breathing, but he can't take his eyes off the stretcher as it carries Tsukushi off the field, and for the rest of the game he plays as if his life depends on it. 

The minute the whistle blows, he's already moving, running towards the makeshift infirmary off the pitch that houses injured players. Mizuki doesn't make a move to stop him, only gives him a nod and a knowing glance, and Jin is extraordinarily thankful. 

Opening the door, he sees Tsukushi laying on a cot, hands clenched at his sides. He's conscious, though, which is a good sign. Tsukushi perks up as soon as Jin walks through the doorway, like a puppy, and Jin feels some of his tension dissipate. Tsukushi shoots upward, sitting up, immediately wincing and holding a hand to his temple. Jin hurries to his side, pushing Tsukushi insistently back down onto his back, letting his hand linger on Tsukushi’s shoulder. 

"Hey, hey," Jin murmurs. Tsukushi smiles dazzlingly even through the pain. "You okay, Tsukushi? You worried me out there."

"Kazama-kun," he says, sounding immensely grateful. _Don't sound as if you didn't expect me to worry._ "Did we win?"

Jin huffs out a laugh, because _of course_  that's what Tsukushi's concerned about, even now.

"Yeah, Mizuki really went all out." Tsukushi gives Jin a watery smile at that, relaxing.

"Congratulations," he says, as if he's not even on their team. "I'm glad."

"Yeah, well – I'd be more glad knowing that you weren't injured," Jin mutters, trailing a hand gently over the angry red marks across Tsukushi's forehead, and he can see the beginnings of bruises rippling into existence. 

"If I can help the team, then it's all worth it!" Tsukushi's face is open and honest, and Jin stares at him mutely. _I don't want you to hurt yourself for something like this_ , he thinks. Jin wants to press a kiss to his forehead, wants to grasp his hand and sit at his bedside like a grieving wife, and he wants to hate it – wants to hate himself for it. 

The door opens, and Jin draws back quickly at the sound, feeling as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't have but almost glad for the excuse to disengage. The rest of the team swarms in, enveloping Tsukushi with cheers and celebration, and he backs up, lingers at the corners of the room and savors the smile that lights up Tsukushi's face. 

 

* * *

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ 

> [18:37] take it easy! you might be concussed

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [18:40] It's okay! I'll be at practice tomorrow and continue to try my best!! 

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [18:41] thats not what i meant omg

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [18:57] ..im just worried about you

 

* * *

 

Every time he sees Tsukushi outside of the school gates, resolutely running lap upon lap upon lap, Jin wonders at his perseverance, at his strength of spirit.  

Jin knows there’s something off in the way he cares about Tsukushi, knows that there’s something there that goes beyond just friendship. Tsukushi shines so bright that Jin can’t _help_ but love him. He’s so _sweet_ , and when Jin looks at him it hurts to breathe. 

Jin’s head over heels, sure, and it makes him doubt himself, but he’s beginning to think that he’s – he’s okay with it. He glances over across the classroom, watching Tsukushi jot down more of his tedious notes, and holds in the urge to smile. 

_Yeah, maybe this isn’t that bad._

 

* * *

 

Narukami has him cornered, and Indou is hot at his heels, blocking his path to Kimishita. Jin makes a split-second decision, squaring the ball soundly to his right. Tsukushi receives the pass – he's free of any marks, and there's a clear shot to the goal. 

Jin knows, just before Tsukushi kicks, that it'll miss, and he feels disappointment and guilt in equal measures pierce him to the core. 

 

* * *

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [19:38] good job during the game today!!!

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [19:42] oi, you there?

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [19:50] ...you okay?

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [20:13] please don't beat yourself up over it tsukushi

 

* * *

 

Something aches in Jin’s chest, sharp and sweet, because he knows how Tsukushi feels: useless, alone, disappointing – and he’d give anything to stop Tsukushi from hurting, but he knows this is one battle he can’t fight. He watches from afar as Tsukushi practices shot after shot after shot, breathing out a long sigh. It’s dark, and Sayurin has been blowing up his phone with texts, asking if Tsukushi’s okay. 

 _How has someone like you survived this long in a world like this?_ he wonders, feeling inexplicably guilty. 

Jin glances at his phone – it’s buzzing with a call, and he picks up.

“He’ll be okay,” Jin says, but before he can say anything else the line clicks off. Confused, he glances at the screen, checking for the caller ID, but it comes up as an unknown private caller, and he frowns. Shrugging it off, he texts Sayurin back.

 

To: Sayurin

> [21:23] with him rn

 

From: Sayurin

> [21:25] …Take care of him

 

To: Sayurin

> [21:26] of course

 

From: Sayurin

> [21:23] Tsukushi is very lucky to have you in his life, Kazama-kun

 

Jin locks his phone, slipping it back into his pocket, and walks out onto the field, into the light. Tsukushi immediately straightens up when he sees Jin, plasters on a wide smile, but Jin can see the way his eyes are puffy and glistening. Jin raises a hand in greeting, as if he hasn’t been watching for the last half hour, waiting for the right moment to expose himself.

“Someone’s been working hard,” Jin says, and moves in closer when Tsukushi’s smile falters, lips pursing. 

“Hey,” Jin says, reaching out. He stops himself halfway, hand pausing in the air – he wants to cup Tsukushi’s cheek, wipe away the tears that he knows are welling up underneath his wide eyes. Jin rests this hand down on Tsukushi’s shoulder, instead, squeezing. “You’re doing good.” Jin tries his best to give a genuine smile, tries to pushes down the worry that bubbles up in his chest. Tsukushi chews on his bottom lip, keeping his eyes locked on the ground.

“I’m just a burden,” Tsukushi says, voice shaky and uncertain, as if all his worries are flooding out at once. “I keep trying to get better, but I’ll never be fast enough, or strong enough, or – or good enough.” Jin frowns, and when he hears Tsukushi’s breath catch, seeing a tear escape his eyes, he lets himself pull Tsukushi in, draws him in for a hug. Tsukushi muffles a sob in Jin’s neck, clutching at his shirt, and Jin lets him, feeling strangely raw and vulnerable.

“You’ll get better,” Jin says, with conviction. “You work hard, and everyone on Seiseki knows it.” _Tsukushi, you…_

Jin thinks to their first meeting, seeing Tsukushi stand in the face of bullies he had no chance against – thinks that nothing’s changed, has it? The urge to protect still wells up beneath his skin, and Jin hurts knowing that he can’t do anything to protect Tsukushi from this, this time. 

“Take a break,” Jin says, dropping a hand to grab Tsukushi’s wrist. “Come on, I have something I want to show you.” Tsukushi looks at him, then back at the goal, the stray balls scattered around the pitch. Jin’s hand tightens around his wrist, thumb reaching out to brush over the back of his hand.

“Leave it,” Jin says, and Tsukushi nods, lets himself be dragged away, and a comfortable silence falls over the two. 

“Where –“ Tsukushi starts to ask, but Jin just points up to the rooftop of the school building.

“Hope you’re up for a little climb,” Jin says, a challenge in his voice. He clambers up onto a fence, jumping onto the top of a corridor’s roof. There’s a window directly in front of him that Jin always wiggles open during school just in case he needs to get away in times like this, and he pushes the window open now, gesturing for Tsukushi to follow. Tsukushi stares up at him, something like disbelief on his face, before he cracks a small smile, shimmying up the fence and hopping up next to him. Jin ducks through the window and lands inside the main stairwell of the building, Tsukushi following soon after. 

“Race you up,” Jin says, and before Tsukushi can react he’s already sprinting up the steps. He hears a following set quick behind him, and Jin lets out a carefree laugh, feeling as if he could run forever.

Eventually, he reaches the top and stops, doubling over and leaning down, resting his weight on his knees as he gasps for breath, smiling wide when he sees Tsukushi’s face, flushed and happy. 

“Glad you could make it,” Jin quips, and Tsukushi laughs and laughs though he’s struggling for breath too, ringing out like peals of bells in Jin’s ears.

Jin gestures behind him, at the door to the rooftop, and Tsukushi opens it, walking out. 

“Oh,” Tsukushi whispers, his breath fogging up in the cold. In the night, he can see all the lights of Tokyo shining bright across the horizon, cars streaking light across the freeways. The air is chilly and a wind bites at his skin, but Tsukushi smiles, eyes sparkling in wonder, and Jin watches and _wants_ so much it pains him. 

“It’s nice up here,” Tsukushi says, voice soft, and Jin nods.

“Do you like it?” he asks, almost nervous. Tsukushi walks to the edge, grasping at the concrete barrier, and turns back. 

“I love it,” Tsukushi says, quickly. Jin walks over to where he is, ruffling a hand through Tsukushi’s hair. Tsukushi’s leaning against the concrete, staring down at the city. 

“It’s beautiful,” Tsukushi says, beaming, and Jin can’t take his eyes off of him, feeling the same lightness flutter up through his chest like the flapping of wings.

“Yeah,” Jin says, voice strangely thick. “Beautiful.”

 

* * *

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:21] Kazama-kun was amazing today in practice!!!

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:21] Actually, Kazama-kun is amazing at everything... 

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:23] you'd be surprised

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:24] im pretty bad at being ugly wwww checkmate

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:24] it's my curse to bear tsukushi, pity me

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [17:25] R-right...

 

* * *

 

Tsukushi’s asleep, head pillowed in his arms on his desk, and Jin sits across from him, fidgeting half-heartedly with a soccer ball and watching the boy in front of him. Warmth unfurls in his chest, heady and bright, and Jin feels as if the fondness in him is filling his ribs to the rim, threatening to overflow. He rests his head on his hand, elbow propped up against the table, and glances down at Tsukushi, feeling his lips twist into a smile. 

 _You’re the one who saved me_ , Jin thinks, eyes flickering over Tsukushi's messy hair, over the way his fingers twitch in his sleep as if he’s reaching out for something. _You give me so much hope._

Tsukushi glows – no matter what, he radiates perseverance, even when it makes him seem foolish, but Jin wouldn’t change it for the world. There’s a remarkable sense of innocence about the boy that makes Jin want to reach out and shelter him from the world, makes him want to hide Tsukushi away and give him the world. His gaze shifts to Tsukushi’s arms, scraped and scarred from all his falls, ugly scabs still covering parts of his forearms, and wonders.

Jin reaches out with his other hand, gently, and brushes a stray lock of hair back from Tsukushi's forehead. _You’re amazing, Tsukushi. I wish I could show you._

 

* * *

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:46] Kazama-kun! Do you want to get lunch today?

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:50] sure, what did you have in mind?

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:52] (hshs pls don't be ramen again)

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:54] S-sorry!! That's actually, ah, exactly what I was going to suggest....°(ಗдಗ。)°.

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:58] I should have expected that Kazama-kun would want something different 

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [11:59] idk what you're talking about ramen is fine i love ramen!!!! let's go wwww (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [12:00] Eh?? But you just said you didn't want ramen again...

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [12:00] ...i changed my mind, ramen is fine!! i know you like it 

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [12:01] i'll see you there!!!

 

* * *

 

Jin overhears a snatch of conversation as a group of students walk past the open classroom door. They’re talking softly, but their tone is vicious and biting. Jin hears Tsukushi’s name, eyes widening, and quickly puts down his book, striding over to the doorway, but when he glances outside they’ve already turned the corner, gone.

Something settles uneasily in the pit of his stomach, heavy and cold.

 

* * *

 

From: Unknown Number

> [13:52] how many of the soccer teams players have you sucked off so far bitch your mouth was made for it

 

From: Unknown Number 

> [13:53] bet thats how you got on the team in the first place

 

From: Blocked Number

> [13:53] This message has been blocked. 

 

From: Blocked Number

> [13:53] This message has been blocked. 

 

From: Blocked Number

> [13:53] This message has been blocked. 

 

From: Blocked Number

> [13:53] This message has been blocked. 

 

* * *

 

Later that afternoon, Tsukushi’s nowhere to be seen, and Jin’s getting a really bad feeling about this. 

“Oi, where’s Tsukamoto? He’s late for practice again?” Kurusu drawls, glancing around.

“I’ll go,” he says, quickly, before anyone can interject, and takes off running. He takes out his phone, typing out a rapidfire text. 

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [16:23] where are you tsukushi?? are you okay

 

He's barely moved to put his phone back into his pocket again before it vibrates in his hand. Jin lets out a sigh of relief, glancing at the screen –

– but what he sees paralyzes him, feet stopping in their tracks. 

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [16:23] how sweet, look at the fag worryin about his pathetic boyfriend

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [16:24] dont worry we're taking good care of him

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [16:24] 1 new video attachment. 

 

Silently, Jin unlocks his screen, heart in his throat. The video is shaky, and the minute it plays Jin sees red. Tsukushi is hunched over on the ground in an empty classroom, clutching at his shoulder. He recognizes it as the room where they usually eat lunch together, and Jin starts to run again towards the main building, eyes still fixed on his phone. A voice growls out from behind the camera. 

"Oi, why don't you tell your bitch Kazama hello? Beg for help." Jin swallows thickly, shaking his head. Tsukushi looks up at the camera at the mention of Jin's name, and Jin can see the beginnings of a bruise blossoming across his cheek. His nose is bleeding, and one of his eyes looks swollen, but he gets up shakily onto his feet. 

"Don't," Tsukushi starts, before another boy steps into the frame, grabbing Tsukushi's hair and shoving him forcefully to the ground. 

"Come and get him," Jin hears, before the video clicks off. He recognizes that voice – it's one of the bullies who he'd chased off so long ago, right when he'd first met Tsukushi. He shoves his phone into his pocket, forcing himself to run faster, and ignores how his hands are shaking with anger, how he's acutely conscious of every second he's wasting out here when Tsukushi is in there, hurt. For a split second he regrets coming alone, but strengthens his resolve when he remembers the content of the messages, the implication clear. 

Scrambling up the stairwell, Jin sprints through the corridors, approaching the classroom he's been looking for. Laughter echoes faintly from behind the door, and he can make out pieces of their conversation. 

"Kazama's a nice bit of ass, turn him around, bend him over, and you can't even tell he's not a girl – he's probably even tighter. But what could Kazama get out of you? Do you suck him off, maybe? Beg for his dick, let him fuck you like a little bitch? Everybody sees the way you look at him – bet you're really fucking desperate, huh?" 

He throws open the door and sees two boys huddled around a prone figure on the floor – _Tsukushi._

For a split second, Jin can't breathe through the anger that threatens to burn him alive, and grabs the first thing he sees, throwing it at the group. 

– unluckily for them, the first thing he sees is a full-sized desk. 

The table slams into one of them hard in the face, and he stumbles back, clutching his head. Jin moves quickly while they're still shocked, running forward and driving his fist hard into the other's face, fisting a hand in his short hair when he bends over in pain. Jin slams it to the side, into the metal rim of the chalkboard. The boy goes down, and Jin doesn't spare him a second thought, whirling around. 

The other one is nowhere to be seen, and he scans the classroom before he hears Tsukushi rasp out, "Behind you!" Suddenly, a hand is in his hair, tugging hard at his scalp and yanking his head back. He hisses, tears prickling hard at his eyes, and slams an elbow back into his assailant's stomach, noting with satisfaction the pained groan as the grip on his hair releases itself momentarily. Jin uses the opportunity to escape the hold, turning around. The minute he looks up, his head explodes with pain as a fist connects hard with his jaw, and Jin stumbles backwards, winded. 

"Bitch," the other teen snarls, "you're gonna be sorry when I'm through with you. I'll make you fucking scream, alright." Jin recognizes the voice from the video, from the hall, and blood roars through his ears. His attacker goes high and Jin's reflexes kick in just in time for him to duck, tackling his opponent's midsection and bringing him down to the ground, Jin on top of him. He swings his fist down hard on the boy's face, feels with satisfaction the crunch of a broken nose, and gets his hands around the kid's neck. 

"I'll kill you," Jin hisses, putting his weight into it. The boy gasps for breath, scrabbling at the ground and digging blunt nails into Jin's hands, trying to pry him off. "You touch him again and I'll fucking kill you." Nails dig in deeper and rake up his forearm, leaving a bright trail of scratches, but Jin only tightens his grip on his assailant, slamming the back of his head into the ground. 

"Do we understand each other?" he asks, punctuating his question by relaxing his grip. The boy gasps in a ragged breath, chest heaving. He chokes – his nose is bleeding sluggishly and he's crying, and Jin notes with distaste that his hands are streaked with blood. 

"I didn't hear an answer," Jin says, slamming his palm into the other teen's nose, which clicks unpleasantly and bends to the side. The boy screams in pain, turning his head to the side and nodding frantically. 

"Good," Jin says, and gets up off of him, watches as he curls in on himself, raising trembling hands to his face. 

"Sorry, forgot I had my cleats on," Jin mutters, and kicks him hard in the ribs for good measure. He turns and sees Tsukushi, already unsteadily on his feet. 

"Tsukushi," he whispers, trying to keep his emotions from slipping out in his voice. He quickly walks over, slipping an arm around Tsukushi's shoulder, and Tsukushi sinks into him, leaning his weight on his. Jin keeps his gaze straight ahead – if he sees Tsukushi now, he feels as if he's going to cry. 

"Can you walk?" he asks, and Tsukushi nods, wearily, but when he gets to his feet it’s unsteady, gait limping as if he’s injured a leg. Jin supports him, walking with him out of the classroom. He takes a right, away from the stairwell, which prompts a confused noise from Tsukushi. 

"Where –" Tsukushi asks, before Jin shushes him. 

"Bathroom." Jin opens the door and Tsukushi hobbles in, leaning against the wall and sinking to the floor. Jin follows, finally allowing himself to take a look at the extent of Tsukushi's injuries, and he sucks in a surprised breath, chest twisting in anger. 

"Kazama-kun," Tsukushi breathes, and Jin sees his eyes begin to water. "I'm sorry." 

"Why are you _apologizing_?" he snaps, regretting it immediately when Tsukushi flinches. 

"I always make you get involved in my own troubles," Tsukushi says, miserably. "You didn't have to –"

Jin kneels down in front of him, meeting his eye level, and covers Tsukushi's mouth with his hand. He feels as if his chest has been scraped hollow, a dull ache spreading through his ribs, because _of course_ Tsukushi is apologizing even though he's been beaten half to death. One of Tsukushi's eyes is swollen shut, and a bruise spans greenish-blue over his left cheekbone. Tsukushi's lip is split, and though his nose has stopped bleeding, his shirt is covered with drops of drying blood. 

"Of course I had to," Jin says, but he feels as lost as he sounds. He moves his hand off of Tsukushi's mouth, letting it splay out over his cheek, stroking the tender skin under Tsukushi's eye with his thumb, swiping away a tear threatening to fall. 

"Thank you again," Tsukushi says, and he still sounds so damnably guilty that Jin wants to shake him. _Jin's_ the one that should be apologizing – he'd overheard them at lunch and hadn't acted then, hadn't been fast enough to keep Tsukushi from getting hurt. 

"Kazama-kun always defends me, even when it's my fault. You wouldn't have been hurt if I wasn't so weak," he says, confused, as if he can't fathom why Jin's here, why Jin isn't hurting him.  _It's partially my fault, anyways. Those bastards went after him to get to me,_ he thinks, horrified, and feels as if he's been drenched in ice. 

_What would've happened if I'd been any slower?_

"You idiot, look at yourself, don't you have an ounce of self-preservation?" Jin retorts, and it's a wonder it doesn't come out as a sob. _I can't bear to see you hurt, don't you understand that?_ Jin thinks about pulling away, but his hands have a different plan. He grazes his knuckles along Tsukushi's cheeks, always pink and flushed, even as a cloud of sickly green spreads under its surface.  Tsukushi looks away, and there's a beat of silence before he speaks. 

"You heard what they said," Tsukushi says, his voice coming out small and resigned. "I deserved this." Jin stares at him, and his free hand fists tight in Tsukushi's shirt, anger flaring up inside of him. _Tsukushi... you can't say that._

"What, about the way you look at me? Yeah, I heard it. So what?" Jin's sure that his heart is about to break, watching Tsukushi look like he's about to burst into tears. "Hey, hey – don't cry."

"It's true," Tsukushi says, and his voice is so soft Jin can barely hear it. "I like Kazama-kun as more than just a friend." Jin huffs out an indignant breath, hands carding gently through Tsukushi's hair, feeling for hidden injuries. 

"You think I'd care about that?" Jin asks, guilty when Tsukushi won't meet his eyes, realizing how it sounded and quickly elaborating. "Tsukushi – I care about _you_. No matter what. I made a promise at the beginning of the year, and I don't plan to break it now, either." Tsukushi still won't look at him, and it makes something squeeze tight in Jin's chest, because he understands, he really does. He thinks back to Ubakata, what she’d said that one time, and sighs.

 _“He’s lived his whole life like he's in a dark ocean, struggling for air. Imagine what he'd do if he caught a glimpse of the light? You're the one who's shown him the sun, Kazama-kun.”_  

 _You deserve so much more_ , Jin thinks. _If I'm your sun, you deserve the whole sky._

Still, he's selfish and he’s wanted this for so long, so he lets his hand slide down to Tsukushi's jaw, tips his head up, and lets himself lean in. Tsukushi freezes, but the minute Jin's lips touch his he relaxes, and Jin lets himself burn, feels the warmth like sunlight on his skin race through his body. 

"Don't _ever_ feel like you deserve to be hurt,” Jin murmurs fiercely against his lips, touching their foreheads together. Tsukuchi is staring at him in disbelief, as if he's not sure if Jin's real, but a smile is beginning to form on his lips. 

"Is this okay?" Jin asks, leaning back – suddenly self-conscious – and Tsukushi nods furiously. Jin smiles, soft, and goes in for another kiss, and this time Tsukushi meets him halfway, but neither of them can get very far because they keep smiling into it, drunk on happiness and excitement. Jin pulls back and Tsukushi's smiling for real this time, wide, and even with one eye swelled shut and bruises across his face, Jin still feels weak, still feels that same inescapable fondness bubble up under his skin.

 _His smile is gorgeous_. Jin trails a thumb across Tsukushi's bottom lip, feeling the curve of his smile and feeling sparks flicker warm and bright in his stomach, knowing that he was the cause of it. 

He cups Tsukushi's cheek like a reassurance, holds it there for a beat before he pulls away and gets up. He grabs paper towels, wetting them in the sink. Turning back, Jin crouches down again, dabbing insistently at the blood caking the corners of Tsukushi's mouth and nose, shushing him gently when he makes a sound of discomfort. 

"Kazama-kun," Tsukushi starts, and he sounds so sad again that Jin glances up at him, presses a kiss to his forehead and revels in the fact that he _can_ , that he's allowed to. 

"You don't have to pity me," Tsukushi says, and Jin swallows down a sound of frustration. "I don't have – I don't have anything special about me, and Kazama-kun shouldn't have to –"

"Shut up," Jin says, cutting him off. "I hate hearing you like this, so insecure. Listen," he says, softening his tone. " _You're_ the one who showed me how to enjoy soccer again. _You're_ the one who's kept me going, who showed me that there was a place here that I could belong. You're not alone, Tsukushi," he says, pressing another kiss to his temple. He lingers there, running a hand through Tsukushi's hair again, and Tsukushi's good eye flutters shut. They stay like that for a moment, and Jin feels his heart beating like a thunderous drum in every part of him, almost convinced that Tsukushi can feel it through his skin, through his lips. 

"We're missing practice," Tsukushi says, finally, and Jin resists the urge to groan. 

"You're not going to practice today in this condition," Jin scolds, and Tsukushi _pouts_. "We'll head down though, to get ice and bandages from the coach's office. You need to take care of that eye." 

Tsukushi nods, but neither of them make a move to stand for a few more minutes. Jin buries his face in Tsukushi's hair, smoothing a hand down his neck. 

 _I don't know how a person like you has survived in a world like this_ , he thinks, again, splaying his fingers out over Tsukushi’s pulse point and breathing in, shakily, as if the steady beat under his hand is the only thing keeping him from drifting away. 

 

* * *

 

Jin supports Tsukushi the full way back to the field, and the minute the team spots them, they drop what they’re doing, running over. 

“Holy shit,” Ooshiba says, hurrying over to the other side of Tsukushi. The minute Tsukushi’s weight is lifted from his shoulders, Jin stumbles back, exhaustion ramming into him like a truck. Kimishita looks as if he’s about to murder someone, and for once he meets Ooshiba’s eyes, steely, and something passes between the two.

“Who did this?” Kimishita growls, but Jin only shakes his head, too tired to respond. 

“Doesn’t matter. You should see the other guys,” Jin murmurs, but he feels unsteady on his feet.

“You look like shit too,” Kurusu says, eyeing Jin and steadying him with a hand on his shoulder. “What’d you guys do, get into a fight or something?” When Jin remains silent, Kurusu’s eyes go wide. 

“Aww, no way, you’ve gotta be kidding me… C’mon, you gotta get that looked at, too. Coach is gonna kill us if you two idiots both end up concussed.” Jin looks up at him in confusion and Kurusu gestures to his face. Jin raises a hand, sucking in a pained breath – it’d been where one of the guys had punched him, skin raised and bruised. He nods, following Tsukushi to the infirmary.

Usui catches up to him, pausing hesitantly before speaking.

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Jin closes his eyes for a split second before answering. _More than myself. More than anything._

“Yeah,” he rasps out. “I guess I do.”

 

* * *

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [13:50] I can’t thank you enough…for everything.

 

From: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [13:50] I really like you, Kazama-kun

 

To: Tsukushi ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

> [13:55] …i love you too.

 


End file.
